Have you been feeling as though your once-perfect relationship is falling apart lately? Have your future plans and good times been replaced by tension and constant arguments? Are you wondering where the problem is?
Here is the thing, while your relationship could be going through a rough patch because of other reasons, it could also be falling apart becasue your partner is knowingly or unknowingly sabotaging it.
If you suspect that indeed he is the reason why things are not working anymore then here are 6 sure signs that he is sabotaging the reationship. Later on in the article we will also look at some of the reasons why he might be sabotaging the relationship, so read on.
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6 Signs he is Sabotaging the relationship
1. Frequent conflict
One sure sign that your partner could be sabotaging the relationship is if they are always picking up a fight with you, even when there’s really nothing to fight about.
Does it feel as though he is always in a bad mood lately? Does he always blow little issues way out of proportion and create unnecessary drama with you? He is probably trying to sabotage the relationship.
2. Poor communication
Do you feel that it’s becoming more and more difficult to hold a mature and healthy discussion with your better half?
Does he often withhold important information from you or outrightly lie in your face sometimes? Does he serve you with the silent treatment occasionally? It could be a sign he is sabotaging the relationship.
Healthy communication is a key ingredient to ensure the success of a relationship, so if your partner is actively and intentionally destroying your communication line then there’s a chance he wants to end things with you.
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3. Lack of interest in the relationship
Another sign that could indicate that your partner is sabotaging your relationship is if he no longer puts any effort into the relationship.
Do you feel as though you have been doing all the heavy lifting in making your relationship work lately? Are you the only one who is always making plans for fun activities to do together? Does he often cancel plans without a valid excuse? Does he also avoid talking about plans with you? If your answer to all these questions is “yes” then there is a big chance that he is sabotaging the relationship.
4. They engage in self-sabotaging behaviors
If your partner has begun to engage in activities that are harmful to themselves such as excessive drinking, drug abuse, excessive spending, or gambling, just to name a few, he could be trying to sabotage your relationship.
Besides harming themselves, these self-harming activities always bring tension and constant arguments in the relationship which might result in ending the relationship.
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5. Mixed signals
Has your partner been giving you mixed signals lately? Does he say he loves you but then act like he doesn’t care? Does he also have mood swings that make it hard to predict his next behavior or reaction?
While the mood swings could be caused by other underlying factors, there is a chance that he could also be actively trying to sabotage the relationship
6. Infidelity
Cheating is the ultimate sign of betrayal and sabotage in a relationship. It not only breaks the trust and heart of the partner who has been cheated on, but it also puts a permanent strain on the relationship.
Besides the actual physical act of infidelity, flirting with other people is also a red flag that indicates that he is not very committed to you or your relationship and he is trying to sabotage it.
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Why is he sabotaging the relationship?
If all the signs show that he is indeed sabotaging the relationship, you may now be wondering why he is doing so. While there are many reasons why people often sabotage relationships, here are a few common ones.
1. Fear of intimacy
People, especially those with emotional unavailability, often fear getting too close to other people even when dating them because they fear being vulnerable. If they feel that things are getting too serious, they might sabotage the relationship as a way to protect themselves from getting hurt.
2. Past trauma
Unresolved traumatic experiences from the past such as an abusive relationship can cause someone to be emotionally distant. Out of fear of getting hurt again, they might subconciously sabotage the relationship.
3. Low self-esteem
People who struggle with low self worth often struggle to believe that they deserve to be loved or to be in a happy relationship. They might also have a deep fear that their partner will eventually leave them anyway. As a result, they might engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that result in them fulfilling their own prophesies.
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4. Conflict avoidance
Some people just hate the drama that usually accompanies breakups. Rather than face you and ask you for a breakup, they will intentionally sabotage the relationship so that you don’t have an option but to leave them.