The Bible is a moral guide, a source of inspiration, or purpose, for billions of people around the world, with lots of knowledge and teachings. However, the Bible also has a surprising, oft-overlooked side: funny bible verses.
In addition to its timeless wisdom, the Bible contains lots of amusing and lighthearted moments, with funny stories, witty quips, and clever proverbs.
Laughter is medicine for the soul, and a universal language. Funny bible verses in the Bible are a reminder that the search for Biblical wisdom need not be a boring thing. Laugh a little!
32 Hilariously Funny Bible Verses
Song of Songs 7:4
“Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.”
2 Kings 9:20
“The lookout reported, “He has reached them, but he isn’t coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi—he drives like a maniac.””
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Mark 9:34
“But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.”
Acts 20:9-10
“Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!”
1 Samuel 6:4
“Then said they, What shall be the expiation of guilt which we shall pay unto him? They answered, Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden rats, according to the number of the cardinals of the Philistines, for the same plague that is on you is also on your cardinals.”
Galatians 5:12
“I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!”
Joshua 13:1
“Now Joshua was old and advanced in years when the Lord said to him, “You are old and advanced in years”
Songs 2:4
“Refresh me with apples, sustain me with raisin cakes, For I am lovesick.”
Proverbs 11:22
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
Proverbs 27:15
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm”
Proverbs 21:9
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Proverbs 21:19
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Acts 2:15
“For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it’s only nine in the morning.”
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Judges 7:5
“Separate everyone who laps water with his tongue like a dog. Do the same with everyone who kneels to drink.”
Mark 14:52
“… he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.”
Matthew 21:18
“Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.”
Proverbs 31:6
“Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter.”
Isaiah 36:12
“But the commander replied, “Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?””
1 Samuel 28:7
“Saul then said to his advisers, “Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.”
Psalm 137:9
“Happy is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks.”
Exodus 32:24
“So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!”
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Job 10:10
“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese?”
Song of Solomon 4:2
““Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing.”
Genesis 6:4
“The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.”
John 21:25
“Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”
Genesis 25:30
“He said to Jacob, “Let me gulp down some of that red stuff; I’m starving.”
Ecclesiastes 10:19
“A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.”
2 Kings 2:23-24
“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.”
Deuteronomy 23:2
“No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the LORD.”
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Proverbs 21:9
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
Ezekiel 4:12-15
“Very well,” he replied, “I allow you cow’s dung in place of human excrement; bake your bread on that.”
Genesis 22:20-21
“Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, ‘Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother.”
Conclusion
Hopefully, you’ve enjoyed these funny bible verses for their use of wordplay, irony, sarcasm, or outright burns. Even then, we must not lose sight of the context of each funny bible verse. These funny bible verses feature deeper points and merely serve to remind us that our journey of faith can offer opportunities for joy and laughter to provide relief from life’s downers.
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