In our relationships and intimate interactions, there are a lot of arguments that can lead to uncertainty, curiosity, and confusion. Among these arguments is the question of oral sex in Christian marriages and relationships. Does oral sex in a Christian marriage align with Biblical teachings on sex and intimacy?
This is a delicate topic that creates a dilemma between desire and devotion. Can they be intertwined? In this article, we will delve into the topic of oral sex, what the Bible says about it, and how individuals can navigate this subject while seeking to align their desires with their faith.
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What Is Oral Sex?
Oral sex refers to the intimate act of stimulating the genitalia of one’s partner by the use of mouth or tongue. Many believe that it is part of the activities that a couple can do to prepare each other for normal sex. People perform it as foreplay to incite each other’s sexual feelings before the traditional form of sex.
Others believe that it can quench a partner’s sexual desire, and they do it as their main form of sexual intercourse. Many homosexuals have embraced oral sex as it quenches their sexual desires. Other people prefer oral sex to normal sex because they believe that with oral sex, the virginity of either partner is not affected.
For Christian couples who are not yet married and want to preserve their virginity, they practice oral sex as a form of intimate interaction. Furthermore, they prefer oral sex to normal sex because, with oral sex, the risk of contracting the human immune deficiency virus is lower. Some partners practice oral sex for contraceptive reasons. Oral sex does not result in pregnancy, and some do it when they want to make love but don’t want to get pregnant.
As society becomes more open about discussing sexual matters, Christians wonder how they can approach this topic in light of their faith.
Understanding Biblical Perspectives: What Does the Bible Say About Oral Sex?
When exploring Biblical perspectives on matters of sex, we are called to approach it with discernment and an open heart that is willing to surrender to the plan of God for our lives. This is because it is God who created sex and ordained it as a form of pleasure between a married couple. He gifted this awesome gift to mankind with a purpose.
Why did God create sex? How can we fulfill God’s purpose through sex? As we engage in sexual activities, we must be careful not to thwart the original plan and purpose of God for sex. But how do we ensure that our sexual engagements align with the will and plan of God? We can do it by reading through the Scriptures and understanding what God says and how He wants us to do it. Let’s look at what the Bible says about oral sex as we reflect on how we can make decisions that align with our faith.
As we embark on this transformative journey, you need to note that the Bible does not specifically mention oral sex. However, this does not mean that it has nothing to say about it. The Bible illustrates broader teachings and principles on purity, holiness, and honoring God with our bodies.
The Bible Insists That We Should Maintain Sexual Purity
While oral sex may be viewed as a form of sex or as a way of sexual arousal before sex, we must consider the purity that God wants us to maintain.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”1 Corinthians 6:18
The Bible puts a lot of emphasis on the importance of sexual purity. When trying to engage in oral sex, we have to ask ourselves whether it aligns with the principle of treating our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. Oral sex can easily drive us to sexual immorality, an act that the Lord asks us to flee from. People are engaging in group sex as they practice oral sex. I know of a certain group that young adults have formed to engage in oral sex.
They meet up and do it in groups every weekend. To them, this is not something bad, but does it portray the purity of sex? We must remember that sexual purity is sexual engagement between a husband and a wife. This is the plan of God for sex and sexual purity. When we get so fond of oral sex to an extent that we can do it in groups, we are straying from the will of God.
The perception that oral sex preserves the virginity of both partners has lured more teens into sexual immorality. Young people are into oral sex without knowing that they are going against the commands of the Lord. God is against fornication, incest, and other forms of sexual immorality. It doesn’t matter whether it is oral sex or any other form of sex.
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As long as it is an intimate interaction between people who are not husband and wife, then we need to know that it is against God’s teachings. The practice of oral sex has promoted ungodly sexual engagements, including fornication, incest, and homosexuality. Those who practice it think they are not sinning since they are not doing it using their genitalia.
But the truth is that they are going against the will of God. Before engaging in oral sex, you must remember that sex is only good and sacred when it is done in the confines of marriage.
Maintain the Bond of Marriage
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”Hebrews 13:4
Bible teachings on sex promote and encourage the sacredness of the marital relationship. The principle of mutual respect and consent must be applied when you want to introduce oral sex between you and your spouse. Many people do not consider how their partners feel when they want to introduce oral sex in their sexual activities.
They force their partners to do it not minding if their partners are comfortable with it or not. People have become adulterers just to fulfill their desire for oral sex. Can you imagine some people cheating on their marriage partners because they failed to agree on the introduction of oral sex in their intimate interactions? The allure of oral sex can lead to adultery, an ungodly act that dishonors the marriage institution and makes the marriage bed impure.
If you are thinking of trying out oral sex, you need to consider if it is going to maintain the bond in your marriage or weaken it. Is your marriage going to be honored through it?
The Bible Teaches Mutual Consent and Love
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”1 Corinthians 7:3-4
Sex is an act of love between a husband and a wife. Our bodies belong to our spouses and we should not deny them their conjugal rights. However, it is good that we have their consent before we engage them in any form of sex. The teachings in 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, highlight the importance of love, humility, and mutual consent within a marital relationship. Any sexual activity should be a consensual expression of love and unity.
Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” We should not force our spouses to engage in activities they are not interested in. Rather, we should ensure that we value their feelings above our own.
Pay Attention to Your Convictions
“So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith, and everything that does not come from faith is sin.”Romans 14:22-23
The convictions within our hearts play a significant role in our actions. Remember that the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts. He is our help and guide in times of uncertainty. He convicts us when we do things that go against the will of God. We should not ignore the convictions in our hearts. If engaging in certain activities leads to doubt or goes against our conscience, it’s important that we carefully consider those feelings. Do not let anyone lure you into doing it if your heart does not feel at peace doing it. The strong conviction is actually the Holy Spirit trying to lead you away from the path of sin.
While the Bible does not directly mention oral sex, it does provide principles that guide us in making decisions that reflect our faith. The decision to practice oral sex is in your hands. The Bible says that you are free anything you wish to do, but you need to consider if it is beneficial to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self.
Is oral sex beneficial in your marriage? Does it draw you closer to God? Furthermore, the decisions you make should align with your understanding of God’s teachings, your conscience, and your desire to honor Him in your relationships.